Aks

Silently I wait
for you to give me a glance
I have waited forever
for this simple chance
you look at me appraising
was it a worthy gamble
as my lips quiver
you wonder am i too much to handle?
you pull back a little
and i hesitate
is this heading to the old dreaded fate?
but somehow you stop
..others havent..
you smile a little smile
put your hands on mine
my eyes lock into yours
and peace prevails in my heart and minds war

the butterflies in my tummy
the mist in my eyes
you look at me with love
you say 'you are mine'

the scars on the face you kiss
the double chin you miss
the patches you dont see
the imperfect nose, may not be
you see what i wanted someone to see
just anyone, anyone who would love me

i say thank you for the gift
you smile
I close my eyes

they come in, the ones who have taunted
i look at them expecting,
their approval i have always wanted
they look past you at me
wondering the reason for my glee
they ask who do i see
i look at you, the mirror
and together we answer
me

forever or less...

the more you try
the more you fail
the more you hide
the more i know
what you say
is just for show
the tears are fake
the smile, just for the sake..
the feelings are gone
you and i
no longer belong

once we were one
now time won
the threads are loose
the glass is broken
the love is gone
memories are the token
we may deny
we may regret
but slowly it seems
i have started to forget
the comfort of the smile
the inside jokes
the hugs that i longed for
too long it took

dont know if you are holding on
or you left too long ago
but now i cant wait
its too late
i need to start with an empty slate
i need to start with an empty slate
i need to start with an empty slate

An ode to Shivali and Vinay

A loss makes you realise the importance of the value. when they stood alongside me i took it for granted and now when they are gone, the momories are so precious. The irony of life escapes me...how can people who make everything around them horrible live a long happy life and beautiful people who touch our hearts and change our lives leave so suddenly. the hollowness i feel is nothing compared to their families and loved ones. just an aquintance and yet moving on seems impossible as i stand and look back at all the oppurtunites i wasted in letting them know that they were special.

maybe god needed them a little more than their parents did. I hope you both rest in peace and knew that you were loved b everyone you touched on you way to heaven...


we wear black,we mourn
smiles empty, eyes dazed we worn
the emptiness, the sorrow
yet we know there will be tomorrow

you left and now we grasp thin air
wondering when life will be fair?
all of 21 and dead
before you began, we review your life that was led

the smiles are gone, never to be seen
memories leave our heart heavy, eyes gleem
your words spoken, the kind thoughts
i think, i remember, i miss them a lot

didn't realise your value when you stood amongst us
i let the oppurtunity rust
but you left no stone unturned, no corner out of reach
to live by your example, is what i seek

now it feels the world has stopped, nothing is right
yet tomorrow ill wake up hopeful and bright
the vision that haunts will become a passing memory
the time will come when ill be back in tune with lifes melody

but you touched some hearts, never forget
ive learned my lesson, ill never regret
know what to value when its dust
don't wait till it shines in the sky, we must...

can u help?

we shout it out
we shout it proud
hatred in us always sprouts
we know what we dont like
we are ready to condemn
looking for the questions
answers we know, we pretend

but sometimes i dont want to shout
i am ashamed...far away from being proud
what we are yelling makes no sense to me
caught up in the moment i cant let it be
i have the voice, i have the means
but unable to direct it properly it seems

can u help me word wht i want to say?
can u help me word wht i feel today?

i have picked up the pen again as i cannot say

what is running in my mind today

trying to find an outlet to put my heart at ease

growing up it seems comes with a fees

unsteady seems the flow of life

without a goal, we try to strive

where did the innocence of our childhood go?

where did the warmth leave from our tomorrow?

why is it that no matter what i say i get it wrong?

why dont i ever feel like i belong?

i look around and see bigger problems exist around

but to me i am alone when my friends surround

loosing a bit of me in the crowd everyday

running towards the sun when i had left to find the shade

nothing is wrong, no one to blame

but nothing is right, there is nothing to claim

in circles i go around, searching...

unable i find myself from ever reaching....